"I am at war with the obvious."

 "Quintessential Sarasota" series. Sophomore year, multiple exposures in camera. 35 mm.
"Some days"  A collection of expired film shots with the Lomo LC-A. Sophomore Year, Color class. 35mm.
"Downtown Lakelend" series of street photos for Social Documentary, Junior year, Digital.
"Brady Douglas" series, final work for Staged class, Junior Year, Digital.
"State Rd. 62" series, the only thing decent from Freshman year, 35mm.
"Kirbyville, Texas" series taken at camp. Independent Study, Senior Year, Type 55 film, Sinar 4x5 camera. Silver gelatin prints.
"Kirbyville, Texas"

It's insane to think of the progression my photography. Not to sound too strange, but it had never stopped being an obsession since my first roll of film processed in the darkroom nearly six years ago. Now its a necessity, like writing had been before. I thought I was going to go to school for creative writing, its hard to imagine what things would have been like then. I want to teach art, I want to live and breathe it each day but life interferes with all of that. My process is an unusual one and now that I am completing a portfolio it feels interesting to evaluate the work created in the past four years. Truly more than anything, I want to transcend effortlessly into a master's program and have the instructors, peers disassemble my work completely and build up something completely new again.
Instead I'll settle for what I have at this stage.
Thesis is going well, Independent Study is going great and is nearly completed. The exhibition of that is really exciting to start getting a roll on. Let us hope I get the space I want. Announcements and business cards should be in the mail this week. Things are coming along, I wish there was a way of avoiding that panicked, anxious, dramatic way of reacting to having so very many things on my mind. Writing has been helping and should fix nicely into my final video for Thesis. Just. So very much to do. I need to give up on sleep. Quit my job. Stop petting my cat so much. Stop reading, watching films and work, non-stop.
But, this, is of course, impossible.
Sally gave me a couple of amazing books and I've been engulfed in Thames & Hudson's "Image Maker, Image Takers". It has interviews with amazing photographers and photographic curators. I just want to read in solitude for a couple of days, that would ease my mind. Drink tea. I am rambling like never before. I suppose I just need to outlet something. Um, I just watched "William Eggleston in the Real World", I love when certain films make this kind of impression on me. It's like seeing Tierney Gearon's "The Mother Project", Edward Burtysky's "Manufactured Landscapes" or Maya Deren's "Meshes of the Afternoon".
I'm going to go to bed on the hope of controlling my lucid dream in a fashion that represents each of these films, instead I'll bet I'll only have a packing-all-of-my-belongings dream all night.

No one should read all that.