I am feeling a little distanced from everything these days, but am excited to move again into our new place and purge most of my possessions. I just want to have the environment, time, and devotion to photograph, shoot video, watch films, read new and exciting things, study, research, sort, organize, & create an amazing website.
okay fine sure whatever yeah why not okay fine alright yeah.
after cleaning the house all day i sorted through the records i want to play at my solo show next friday. everything should be ready to hang by this friday- best of ringling night. i got in one of my early large format series pieces. i think i may have won an award for it. we'll see what comes of that. my cat makes me angry sometimes, i miss my best friends and wish i could just hide and read until thesis. but i'm supposed to be reading baum's 'oz' and i'd rather just sleep. k bye.
This is the first of four final photographs that will correspond with my video piece. It was shot in my hometown, Lakeland at carter road park. Thanks to Blake for making these images at all possible. Bike trailin it with a 4 x 5, it sure wasn't easy. But I'm quite happy with the result of all that sweat and sneezing.
"Quintessential Sarasota" series. Sophomore year, multiple exposures in camera. 35 mm. "Some days" A collection of expired film shots with the Lomo LC-A. Sophomore Year, Color class. 35mm. "Downtown Lakelend" series of street photos for Social Documentary, Junior year, Digital. "Brady Douglas" series, final work for Staged class, Junior Year, Digital. "State Rd. 62" series, the only thing decent from Freshman year, 35mm. "Kirbyville, Texas" series taken at camp. Independent Study, Senior Year, Type 55 film, Sinar 4x5 camera. Silver gelatin prints. "Kirbyville, Texas"
It's insane to think of the progression my photography. Not to sound too strange, but it had never stopped being an obsession since my first roll of film processed in the darkroom nearly six years ago. Now its a necessity, like writing had been before. I thought I was going to go to school for creative writing, its hard to imagine what things would have been like then. I want to teach art, I want to live and breathe it each day but life interferes with all of that. My process is an unusual one and now that I am completing a portfolio it feels interesting to evaluate the work created in the past four years. Truly more than anything, I want to transcend effortlessly into a master's program and have the instructors, peers disassemble my work completely and build up something completely new again.
Instead I'll settle for what I have at this stage.
Thesis is going well, Independent Study is going great and is nearly completed. The exhibition of that is really exciting to start getting a roll on. Let us hope I get the space I want. Announcements and business cards should be in the mail this week. Things are coming along, I wish there was a way of avoiding that panicked, anxious, dramatic way of reacting to having so very many things on my mind. Writing has been helping and should fix nicely into my final video for Thesis. Just. So very much to do. I need to give up on sleep. Quit my job. Stop petting my cat so much. Stop reading, watching films and work, non-stop.
But, this, is of course, impossible.
Sally gave me a couple of amazing books and I've been engulfed in Thames & Hudson's "Image Maker, Image Takers". It has interviews with amazing photographers and photographic curators. I just want to read in solitude for a couple of days, that would ease my mind. Drink tea. I am rambling like never before. I suppose I just need to outlet something. Um, I just watched "William Eggleston in the Real World", I love when certain films make this kind of impression on me. It's like seeing Tierney Gearon's "The Mother Project", Edward Burtysky's "Manufactured Landscapes" or Maya Deren's "Meshes of the Afternoon".
I'm going to go to bed on the hope of controlling my lucid dream in a fashion that represents each of these films, instead I'll bet I'll only have a packing-all-of-my-belongings dream all night.
They still need a tremendous amount of work put into them, but I'm choosing 4 of these to be grouped with my silver gelatin prints (hoping for 6 of those!) for my exhibition in April. The independent study is going smoothly and I'm definitely glad to have my negatives coming back nicely so it won't be too much trouble getting things edited & finished looking- just gotta get out those newton rings. And frame them. And mount them. And matte them. And not loose my mind finishing the billions of things I still have to do......ahhhh.
These are preliminary scans of positives taken in Texas, down at the dirt road from the camp. The creek was a place I visited constantly in my childhood. I don't know how many times I nearly got stung by bees in the first photograph. I am certainly glad to be shooting 4x5, and with black & white polaroid 55 film. Its so unfortunate to be shooting the absolute last of that, feeling as though it's the very last time. More than anything, I wish I could just go to the darkroom right now.
This year's Holiday break has been pretty bizarre. In ten days we spent the night at five different places, traveling up through Texas. Not nearly as impressive as my previous road trip last year, but pretty fun none the less. Got a lot of reading done, and enjoyed seeing family. Just a shame how things alter greatly as you get older. If I could choose one word to sum up the past few weeks: disappointment would be it. But things are getting better. Yesterday Blake & I went to get our new addition to our home- no it wasn't more vintage shit: it was a cat!
We got him from the Humane Society (hello discount for taking photos there an entire semester) and his name is Moby. He's 2 1/2 years old and as sweet as can be. Last night, he slept on half my pillow, and took up at least a fourth of the bed. Pretty exciting. Well, I know I haven't been posting photographs in awhile, but that will all change soon, what with the my final semester starting in about a week. Hello, darkroom, I'm longing for youuu. Between an independent study with my wifey Sally (all large format darkroom printing, SHOT IT ALL OVER BREAK!), Thesis, and Portfolio, more work will be posted soon.
P.S.- I miss my friends, I don't know how many times on Christmas Day I wanted more than anything to drive to Sean's House and have everyone be there like old times.